July 2009
www.LaughYourDickOff.com →
azizisbored:
Visit the official homepage of RAAAAAAAANDY, my character from Funny People.
Check out the soundboard, learn about Randy’s passion for helping Darfur, and more!
Jason Woliner and I also created a whole video series/documentary about Randy that will debut on the site in some form in the coming weeks.
New favorite soundboard!
June 2009
“hey helvetica - you look disgusting. have some dignity and put on some serifs”
– Stephen Colbert (via savingpaper)
Don't worry son, I'll build you a new treehouse.... →
Paleontologists brought to tears, laughter by... →
soupsoup:
kaytee:
For a group of paleontologists, a tour of the Creation Museum seemed like a great tongue-in-cheek way to cap off a serious conference.
But while there were a few laughs and some clowning for the camera, most left more offended than amused by the frightening way in which evolution — and their life’s work — was attacked.
“It’s sort of a monument to scientific illiteracy,...
The Onion: Fabled Burger King Employee Places... →
virtualephemera:
MUNDELEIN, IL—A legendary Burger King employee, known across the land for the heroic and selfless deed of randomly inserting a single onion ring among the french fries of unsuspecting customers, is believed to have recently resurfaced in this sleepy Illinois town, sources reported Monday. “That onion ring was such a pleasant surprise,” said Burger King patron Richard Jameson, 37,...
“If Bernie Madoff had ripped off the RIAA, his sentence would have been 150...”
– Mark Lisanti (via savingpaper)
Rise Of Obesity May Be Chemicals, Not Diet?
robot-heart-politics:
buffleheadcabin:ambivalence:
[via It’s Time to Learn From Frogs - Op-Ed - NYTimes.com]
“This month, the Endocrine Society, an organization of scientists specializing in this field, issued a landmark 50-page statement. It should be a wake-up call.
“We present the evidence that endocrine disruptors have effects on male and female reproduction, breast development and...
Autopsy reveals Billy Mays died of a pulmonary...
(via soupsoup)
“And after watching a series of scandals unfold, I’ve come to the conclusion that...”
– Paul Krugman (via azspot
)
Or, in other words, it’s very appealing to vote for someone you see yourself in, so if one hypocrite votes for another hypocrite, it shouldn’t be super surprising.
(via robot-heart-politics)
U.S. falls to Brazil 3-2 in highest scoring game... →
TV pitchman Billy Mays found dead in Tampa home -... →
virtualephemera:
Mays, 50, was pronounced dead at 7:45 a.m. at 2853 Bowen Daniel Dr., #1201. His wife, Deborah Mays, found him unresponsive this morning. The Medical Examiner’s Office will complete Mays’ autopsy by tomorrow afternoon.
Mays was a passenger Saturday of the 737 aircraft that took a hard landing at Tampa International Airport, an airport spokeswoman said.
“Music is everybody’s possession. It’s only publishers who think that people own...”
– John (via ringoknowsbest)
“I have never seen a party leadership lose two national elections back to back...”
– Rahm Emanuel (via notthatkindagay) (via savingpaper)
Can a brotha get on for some run support for his fantasy pitchers? Damn.
MJ article in todays METRO reads like THE ONION
willzone:
Star blocked possessions from being auctioned off
AUCTION. In March 2009 Jackson tried to block items from his Neverland Ranch from going up for auction. Works of art included on the list were listed as follows: boy with accordion,” “boy sitting on bricks,” “boy w/ baton and hat w/ feathers,” “two boys on swing bar,” “two boys with ladder,” “boys sleeping on bench,” “boys milking...
Universal temporarily removes Michael Jackson... →
(via mattmattucci)
ringoknowsbest:
My Morning Jacket’s Jim James...
Ochocinco, Merriman trade barbs →
Chad Ochocinco is back — and he comes bearing catch phrases!
“Oil prices are rising again: They shot up 20 percent in the month of May and...”
– Matt Taibbi, The Great American Bubble Machine
The prices are being driven up because in 1991 Goldman got the government to give them a special exception to hedge their commodities risk. When Michael Greenberger became head of the division of trading and asked the government to produce the papers...
Shaq Finds Out He's Been Traded To...
soupsoup:
charitini:
Big news: Shaquille O’Neal has been traded from the Suns to Cleveland Cavaliers. And he apparently found out about it on Twitter. Here’s the thread, as far as I can piece it together:
@allonso: @THE_REAL_SHAQ is it true u a CLEVELAND CAVALIER (12:33 am)
@THE_REAL_SHAQ: @allonso I didn’t hear dat yet (12:34 am)
@THE_REAL_SHAQ: @jds1258 I dnt have cable (12:34 am)*
...
Sources: Shaquille O'Neal sent to Cleveland... →
nbaplayoffs2009:
Cavs get:
Shaq
Suns get:
Ben Wallace
Sasha Pavlovic
46th pick in Thursday’s Draft
For the Suns, this is a terrible, terrible trade. For the Cavs, it’s a great move, but can a 37 year old Shaq bang with a 23 year old Dwight Howard in a six or seven game series?
The trade is awaiting approval from ownership.
